It’s
the annual Waite family Christmas letter. This year, we had some real
excitement. Barry not only ran for city council here in
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Proposition A – Shall the Waite family take
another Mexican Riviera cruise, excluding certain non-minor family members prone
to slumber deprivation disorders? Translation: We went on a cruise that was
mostly fun but Barry couldn’t sleep. Our room was incredibly small, but at
least it was way too expensive. Alex’s “bed” was a slab that came down from
the ceiling. David had a blast. Margie liked the food because she got to have
as many mushrooms as she wanted without the rest of the clan complaining
about having to eat the little fungi. We all loved |
Yes No Dramamine |
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Proposition B – Shall Dodson Middle School
drop all pretense of education and be renamed “The Dodson Mental Abuse
Facility?” Translation: With David moving up to middle
school, both boys are again in the same school. He now understands why Alex
spent so much of his energy hoping for earthquakes or other natural disaster
to close the place. Like his brother, David also took up the trombone. So
which is louder, the trombone or electric guitars at our house? Being mostly
deaf from the noise, we certainly can’t tell. In spite of the mental abuse,
both boys are doing fine. |
Yes No What? |
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Proposition C – Shall the Waite family get a
puppy? Translation: Margie often (loudly) mentions
a desire to get a puppy to keep Monster company. The boys are non-committal on
the subject, and Barry is horrified at the thought. The cats probably aren’t
too keen on it either. The fish doesn’t care and is simply thrilled to still
be alive in a house where non-mammals have lives shorter than an extra on
Star Trek. Last year, she wanted a turtle, and the boys bought her a ceramic
one. How about one of those ceramic Dalmatians they used to have on Wheel of
Fortune? |
No No No
way (Barry’s
suggestion) |
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Proposition D – Shall the Waite family
purchase knee insurance? Translation: On election night, Alex went
to the park for picture night with his football team. He went out for a pass
in the picnic area and ran into a bench. He missed the pass. After we waited
up for the election results to see if Barry won, Alex announced his knee was
really hurting. He went for x-rays the next morning. The technician told
Barry, “You broke your knee cap, right? Like father, like son.” Luckily, Alex
only cracked his knee cap, so he is recovering very quickly and using his
crutches only when forced to by Margie. Other than that, both boys had a
great football season. David has learned that tackling is sometimes easier
than grabbing the opponent’s flags. Those pesky referees don’t always approve
of this tactic. Imagine that. |
Yes No Ouch! |
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Proposition E – Shall work weeks be limited
to only 60 hours? Translation: Guess what? Yup, Margie works
too much. Since Bristol Farms promised her a forty hour week as accounting
manager, she continued doing the books for a small government agency as a
side job. Then along came the big bad parent company who decided to ignore
all their advisers and change everything with lots of system conversions with
“just get it done” overtime. Unpaid of course. Meanwhile, they cut the
deadline each month to close the books, but at least they have less people to
do it with. Uh oh. |
Yes Definitely You
were surprised? |
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Proposition F – Shall the Waite family
manage to get together with friends and family more this year? |
Yes No What
Waite family? |
As
always, call or write us when you can. We’re still at
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waite@earthlink.net |
http://home.earthlink.net/~waite or www.barrywaite.org (Barry’s campaign web
site) |